Wallbanger by Alice Clayton-a review
WALLBANGER by Alice Clayton
WALLBANGER is the November 27, 2012 adult contemporary release from Alice Clayton. Like the name implies WALLBANGER’s focus is on the nightly entertainment heard from the other side of the wall. Caroline “Pink Nightie” Reynolds is a designer and an excellent chef who has just sublet her boss’s apartment only to discover that her new neighbor entertains several women and, their hot and heavy sex can be heard through the walls. When a pink nightie clad Caroline finally confronts a sheet wearing, gorgeous Simon “Wallbanger” Parker in the wee hours of the morning, their attraction to one another can be cut with a knife.
Wallbanger is filled with one-liners, innuendo, many, many humorous moments, the ‘hunt for the missing O’, and plenty of sexual tension, sexual chemistry and sexual frustration. Anyone remember Kim Cattrall’s character in Porkys and how she got the nickname Lassie? Well Caroline has nicknamed of few of Simon’s conquests: Spanx, Purina and Giggler. Caroline and her two BFFs meet weekly to compare notes about what is happening in their lives and when Caroline finally confesses her attraction to the Wallbanger, the trio of friends cannot hide their amusement and curiosity especially when Caroline’s description about the ‘sounds’ and ‘sights’ from Simon the Wallbanger. And the storyline progresses as Simon’s buddies are attracted to and start hooking-up with Caroline’s friends. The only complication-Caroline and Simon’s thinly disguised attraction to one another is hampered by Simon’s past. Caroline is unable to forget the nightly parade of women and the wallbanging memories of moans, giggles and ‘meows’; and Simon confesses that he doesn’t do the girlfriend or dating scene. ‘Friends with benefits’ is more his style or ‘just friends’.
Alice Clayton draws the reader into the storyline as we read the ‘text messages’ and follow the lives of Simon and Caroline as they grow closer to one another without crossing the line from friendship to lovers.
Simon: “I can’t believe this is the second time we’re cleaning flour and sugar off each other. What’s wrong with us?”
Caroline: “The sugar is good for exfoliation. Not sure what good the flour is doing us, though.”
Caroline: “Yeah, I figure every time we sex it up out there, all that sugar helps us remove dead skin cells.”
Simon: “Really, Caroline? Dead skin cells? That’s hardly sexy.”
Caroline: “You weren’t complaining earlier”
Simon: “Well no, how could I? You promised to bake me an apple pie. Don’t forget that part.”
Caroline: “I won’t forget, but I was somewhat under duress.”
Simon: “ You were under me, not under duress, under me.”
Oh, don’t get me wrong, they will eventually become more than lovers, but there are a few heartbreaking moments when Simon’s rejection of Caroline sends her into the arms of an ex-fiance with thoughts of rekindling the past.
WALLBANGER is a wonderful, enjoyable and humorous look at the frustrations of a successful twenty-something designer as she embarks on a seductive ride to discover herself and the man with whom she has fallen in love. This is my first Alice Clayton novel and I am looking forward to many more.
NOTE: WALLBANGER was originally a piece of fan-fiction, written by Alice Clayton, using the characters from the Twilight series. Thanks to Carmen and her adept inner ‘everything Edward/Robert’ sixth sense, we have tracked down some of the original fan-fiction and the storyline is virtually identical-only the names have been changed. The author (and bloggers) have removed most of the fan-fiction from various sites, but there are a few bits and pieces of the original floating around.
Reviewed by Sandy