It pains me to see her glance around this old house, staring at it as if she’s never really seen it before. The truth has been revealed about her stepfather, who her real dad is, and what happened to her mom. I can tell by the look on her face she feels like she’s lived a lie.
I’d never lie to her.
Gun to my head, knife to my throat, Reaper’s hand around my heart, I’d rather die than lie to my Comet.
She looks sadly around the house that held so many lies and so much deception. I thought the truth would wiggle her mind free and she’d come back to me, but we are right where we have been for a while now. If the truth doesn’t set her free, I don’t know what will.
Maybe it’s time for me to face the truth. Maybe Daphne won’t ever get her memory back and while it hurts, I’ll adapt.
Because that’s what love does.
I hurt for her, though. All those memories we built are just gone. The strength she’s had to use to get to where she is today has disappeared. It’s unfair for her not to get it back. She deserves to know and remember everything she has accomplished in life.
“I can’t believe I lived here with a monster,” she says, interrupting the stillness of the house.
It’s the first time we have been back since the day at the hospital. The day I almost lost her because of her stepfather’s selfish behavior. Many people died that day, but she didn’t.
Her aunt didn’t.
And the moment she was able to leave the hospital, I didn’t bring her here because this place isn’t her home.
I am.
So I took her to the NOLA Clubhouse where I knew she’d be safe. I’m glad I made that choice because she didn’t want to come back here until she was ready. Her Aunt Tina calls every day to check in on her, but Daphne has yet to talk to her.
Daphne is angry at Tina for keeping the truth about Mercy from her for so long. She hasn’t spoken to Mercy either. She wants to. I can tell. I don’t think my Comet knows how to open herself up to Mercy or her aunt after knowing the truth. For some reason, she can’t remember her own truth, so why would she want to talk about the truth with others?
Daphne confides in me, but there are times where she keeps me at arm’s length. We are nowhere near the couple we used to be before all this… fucking shit happened.
I’d follow Daphne to the ends of the earth, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be angry and tired.
I miss her. I miss us so much. I miss her touch. I miss sleeping next to her. I don’t know what else to do. Not even Happy makes her… happy.
Speaking of the best boy in the world, I squat and dig into my pocket for a treat and toss it to him. His jaws snap and his tail flicks. My big boy can only wear a harness now. He grew out of his collar. “Aren’t you so good?” I scratch under his chin, and he opens his jaws slightly, smiling when I hit his favorite spot. Bullseye and Reaper did me a big favor when they made a quick trip to bring me Happy a few months back.
There’s a piece of chicken hanging in his tooth, and I reach in and pluck it, placing it on his tongue. I’m never scared of him biting me. He is gentle with a select few people. Me, Daphne, and Slingshot… sometimes. Poor taco-loving bastard has a few scars on his arm from getting nicked one too many times. At the end of the day, he is still a predator, but a loving one at that.
Kind of like me, I guess.
Happy is wearing his emotional support vest, which never fails to get a few stares as I walk him every day.
Daphne is sitting on the floor in one of my oversized t-shirts, sniffling as she cries and wipes her cheek. She holds out her arms and Happy scurries across the floor and climbs into her lap, placing his head right on her shoulder. She sobs as she slides her hand down his spine, petting him gently. He purrs from her touch, which I can relate to.
Been there, Happy. I understand.